I’ve been interviewing for leadership-heavy roles lately. And while I do have experience leading, I’ve never really studied it—I just did what felt right at the time. Looking back, I know my choices benefited the team in the long run. But did I bulldoze them into doing my bidding?
After some soul-searching, I realized something:
I want dev teams to be a democracy—because I want to be listened to.
But I’ve led like a tyrant—because I did what I thought was best, regardless of pushback.
It’s an awkward thing to recognize a bias. Why did I assume everyone should just get on board with my train of thought? Dev teams aren’t democracies. And good leaders don’t just listen; they also know when to ignore.
So how do you strike the balance? How do you lead without oversteering?
Three principles that worked for me:
Own your decisions—and their consequences.
As a leader, you will make calls that override others’ opinions. That’s inevitable. The key is to make informed bets and take full responsibility when they don’t pan out. People respect a leader who owns their failures as much as their successes.Build trust first.
I started leading because people trusted my judgment. They didn’t push back—not because they were silent followers, but because I had a track record of making sharp decisions that made their lives easier. Trust is built over time, and once you have it, leadership becomes less about authority and more about influence.Prototype ultra fucking fast.
Disagreements often stem from uncertainty. The faster you can turn an idea into something tangible, the faster you resolve debates. Working code dissolves arguments. People don’t need to agree with you if they can see what works.Follow up on concerns—personally.
Making a decision is easy; ensuring it succeeds is the real work. If you push for a change, you need to be the one helping the team adapt to it. Whether that means teaching, troubleshooting, or proving its value, leadership isn’t just about saying "this is the way"—it’s about making the transition as smooth as possible.
At the end of the day, leadership isn’t about making everyone happy. It’s about making the right calls while keeping your team engaged, respected, and motivated. A little democracy, a little tyranny—just enough of both to keep things moving forward.