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We focused, until now, on things external as examples. Let’s proceed to internal. Before, I want to note that any of these is a formula. It’s not like we can repeat a past experience we ourselves or someone lived, and feel the same thing. It’s not a guarantee, and not even the idea in sharing. It’s only this: to share and to provoke reflection.
I was abused as a child. Hard as it is, and unerasarable, also hard was to tell someone important and do not be trusted. Child abuse is associated with multiple disorders further in life. Remembering what I passed is a relief in what gives respect to where I am now. Not to authorize me to feel anger, or as a free pass to throw everything to the air without feeling guilty — that would make something, but not good after all —, but to recognize better what is real and what is important now, and that’s much more relevant, and influential to my being in the world, than that past experience.
Coincidences sometimes make me “wow”. When I ask, and even when I don’t directly ask, specific direction in choices, or in what to trust, it’s not rare to receive something that I see as very clear. Even when it comes as a reproach, remembering me about what I should and could be doing, but am not because of many excuses, even then, I’m still impressed, and feeling loved, because someone cares
specifically – about – me
.
In general, remembering something that gave me a bad taste when thinking about before, and then, as of now, feeling differently about that event, gives me a sense of maturity. Like, what a child I was to pay so much attention to this, or to that, and now those things, unimportant as they are, don’t matter any more.
I find myself trying to remember a word, or a concept or memorized Bible verse. Sometimes I forget, and then I go to a chain of thoughts about and end up remembering, or forget about and it comes to mind minutes or hours later. Those are “aha!” moments, as discovering something, very beautiful, for the first time. Some people have a wrong notion of memory, as if it was created once and evoked latter. No, every moment one evokes a piece of information, he is reworking that piece, and every experience after the creation of the memory potentially affects that bit of information we call a part of the memory. It’s not static, it’s dynamic. And so it’s not objective, is it?
Yeah, that’s it.
Thank you and bye bye.