🔧 A single malloc took 7 milliseconds. So I deleted the slow path.

Every allocator benchmark leads with the median. malloc does 15M ops/sec, the typical call is 15 ns, ship it.

The median never paged me at 3 a.m. The tail did.

Same allocator, same workload, but measuring the worst single call instead of the typical one:


Median: ~16 ns

Worst case: 6,950,000 ns — almost 7 milliseconds.


One malloc,...