What if the thing that gets paged at 2am wasn't a person, but a detective that investigates the incident strictly read-only and leaves a grounded report in your inbox? Built on top of Danielle Heberling's headless-Claude-on-shared-compute pattern, pointed at incident response, written in TypeScript.
The 2am page
The alarm fires on an error spike. You wake up, open a blank terminal, and start doing the same thing you always do: pull the error signatures, find the last deploy, size the blast radius, form a guess. The first thirty minutes of every investigation are the same ritual, and you do them half-asleep.
That ritual is read-heavy, bounded, and repetitive. Which is just another way of saying it's exactly the kind of work an agent should be doing instead of you.
So I built one. Its name is pattern, the headless coding agent on shared cloud compute that a whole team can trigger, instead of Claude Code living on one person's laptop. Her version,
After all, I got an email about the findings (yeah it is not fancy...yet)
. And go read Danielle's post, because Poirot wouldn't exist without it.
Mon ami, may your pages be few and your reports be grounded. 🕵️
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